<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>i thought i was love-impaired by turkeysandwich</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22783003">i thought i was love-impaired</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/turkeysandwich/pseuds/turkeysandwich'>turkeysandwich</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Bartender Johnny, Drunk Lee Taeyong, For Jung Jaehyun, Lee Taeyong is Whipped, M/M, Weddings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:27:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22783003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/turkeysandwich/pseuds/turkeysandwich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Taeyong is in love with his best friend who, coincidentally, is getting married to the love of his life. Johnny is the bartender that serves him probably a glass too many of wine.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>292</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i thought i was love-impaired</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, um. Maybe a week or two ago, I promised that I'd write a story for one of my supporters. A lot of people sent me in prompts which I appreciated so, so, so much and still am completely in shock of how creative they all were but this one really resonated with me.</p><p>Anon asked:<br/>best friends jaeyong where taeyong is secretly in love with jaehyun and they’re at his wedding and taeyong tries to put on a happy face but progressively gets sadder as the night goes on and he meets barista! johnny who’s working at the reception and basically rants and falls asleep at the counter and johnny has to take taeyong home bc he doesn’t know where taeyong lives and this prompt is getting rly long HHH pls do whatever u want with it i just request u make it angsty 😳</p><p>and so I delivered. Or at least I hope I delivered. I know this isn't really anything like what I usually write but I hope the few people that decide to spend their time reading this 12k word-vomit spiel will really enjoy it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Taeyong was in love with his best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It started pretty innocent. He had met Jaehyun in high school. They shared a class together—AP US History—and were assigned to sit at the same table as each other. The period was after lunch and Jaehyun always came in late after going to the local McDonald’s or Little Caesars’ down the street. They didn’t start talking to each other until a month in, when Jaehyun had skidded into class late and slid into his seat when their teacher’s back was turned. At the sound of his desk scraping loudly with the force of him sitting down so violently, the middle</span>
  <span>–aged woman turned around, raising an eyebrow at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you just come into class?” she asked and Jaehyun laughed incredulously at her, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you kidding?” Jaehyun said in the most unconvincing voice Taeyong had ever heard in his life. “I’ve been here since the bell rang.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman stared at Jaehyun for a long moment before switching her gaze over to Taeyong who was sitting next to him. “Taeyong, was he really here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel Jaehyun’s stare boring into the side of his head without even having to look. He never had a problem with Jaehyun other than the fact that he ate a little bit too loud and always cheated off of him when they were testing and Taeyong had never really been one to get someone else in trouble so he sighed quietly before nodding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was here,” Taeyong lied. “He just got up to throw something in the trash.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could tell that their teacher didn’t believe either of them, especially when she already had the prior knowledge of Jaehyun’s constant lateness. Still, with this being said, she only sighed at the both of them before turning back around and redirecting everyone’s attention to the warm–up on the board.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, dude,” Jaehyun breathed to him as she explained the problem that they were supposed to copy down and complete, Taeyong doing just that. “You’re a lifesaver.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You owe me lunch tomorrow,” Taeyong only said back sarcastically before putting his head down, directing all of his attention to the problem in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He entirely had been kidding which was why he hadn’t been expecting for Jaehyun to approach him in the library where he always ate with his friends with a greasy bag from McDonald’s and a bright smile on his face. Taeyong had stared at him for a long moment, genuinely surprised that Jaehyun had actually done what he asked. Had he not sounded sarcastic enough? No, he definitely had. Maybe Jaehyun didn’t get sarcasm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like McDonald’s,” Taeyong said simply and sarcastically again. To be completely honest, Taeyong liked the place. It was greasy and unhealthy and gross but he really, really fucking loved their fries. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun’s face dropped. He looked down at the bag in his hand and then back up at Taeyong who was quickly starting to realize that Jaehyun definitely didn’t get sarcasm. He opened his mouth to speak but Taeyong interrupted him by taking the bag from him, placing it down next to his laptop that was open to an assignment he had didn’t have to complete until the following week but wanted to get ahead on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Taeyong told him and Jaehyun’s wide smile quickly returned, dimples appearing easily on either of his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that was kind of where their relationship first started. From that day on, Jaehyun asked Taeyong if he wanted something to eat before he left off and Taeyong either nodded or turned him down, saying that he wasn’t in the mood. Even when he did say that, Jaehyun still brought him back a drink or a cookie or something that would hold him over until the end of the day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It developed even further when they got paired up together for a project. Jaehyun invited Taeyong over to his house to get it finished, meaning that Taeyong did all the work while Jaehyun lay on his bed and talk about where he wanted to go to college and his little sister and how annoying she was and basketball. When Taeyong was finished, Jaehyun seemed to realize that he hadn’t contributed to the project at all and offered to make it up to him by taking him out to get something to eat. Taeyong was hungry enough to swallow down his irritation towards Jaehyun and nod in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong realized that he liked Jaehyun at the beginning of their final year of high school. They hadn’t hung out all that much during the summer due to him going off to Boston for this camp that claimed to help him with college and studying for his SATs. It didn’t really help all that much and Boston was, like, ridiculously racist so Taeyong had hated every minute of it but talking to Jaehyun on the phone at the day of everyday really did make everything better. At first, he thought that he really liked Jaehyun on a platonic level because of his personality but it didn’t take long for Taeyong to realize that no, he liked Jaehyun not platonically but in a way that he wanted Jaehyun to hug him and kiss him and cuddle him and tell him that everything was going to be okay when he needed to be told that everything was going to be okay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, like, that was an awakening because Taeyong had some kind of a clue that he was gay for a long while, since his first year of high school but he didn’t think that he would go as far as to like his </span>
  <em>
    <span>best fucking friend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun was straight. Jaehyun was impossibly, irrevocably straight and would never even consider being with Taeyong. He liked Taeyong as a friend and that was all he would ever like him as. Still, Taeyong liked to daydream about it. One day, Jaehyun would have this big gay awakening and realize that he was in love with Taeyong and would ask him out and they would get married and adopt three babies because as much as Taeyong loved children, that was all he could handle. He knew that was stupid. He knew that would never happen, especially when Jaehyun started dating the captain of their school’s softball team. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elise was sweet. She was always nice to Taeyong and liked to include him as much as she was able because she knew that Taeyong was an introvert and didn’t really like to put himself out there. There was nothing wrong with her. Taeyong just didn’t like her because she had made Jaehyun happy, happier than he could ever make him and even with as selfish as that was, he couldn’t stand it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They graduated. Jaehyun got accepted into the same university as Taeyong did. Jaehyun promptly asked Taeyong to get an apartment with him which Taeyong agreed to only because Elise had asked Jaehyun to move in with her and Jaehyun had turned her down, saying that he thought it was too early in their relationship for them to do that and Taeyong felt kind of like he won or something seeing that Jaehyun would make that move with him and not with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong waited for his crush on Jaehyun to go away. It was phase. He was lonely or something. But Jaehyun was so pretty and so talented and so sweet and treated him in a way that no one had ever treated him before even if it was platonically. Jaehyun had the sweetest dimples and he was so tall and so, so fucking funny sometimes he made Taeyong snort which he only did when he was laughing really, really hard. He couldn’t get over it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong started distancing himself. He got a boyfriend named Ten who was so cool and from Thailand and liked by practically everyone on campus. They met in dance and Ten immediately picked him to be his partner because he said that Taeyong was the best dancer in their class and just being with him would get him a good grade for sure. They aced their project together and afterwards, Ten suggested that the two of them should go out and grab some pizza. A month from then, Ten was asking him to be his boyfriend and even though Taeyong didn’t really like him like that, he agreed. He figured that being with Ten would be the best way for him to get over Jaehyun for good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t. Ten was nice but he wasn’t Jaehyun. He was pretty but he wasn’t as pretty as Jaehyun. He fucked him so, so good but didn’t fuck him as well as all those times Taeyong had imagined Jaehyun fucking him. If anything, being with Ten only made Taeyong long for Jaehyun even more despite Jaehyun’s relationship with Elise doubling down into something truly serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun was there for him when him and Ten broke up. Ten had actually been the one to do it, saying that he knew that Taeyong wasn’t really into him and how he thought that it was selfish of Taeyong to be with him when he knew that he didn’t like him in that way. Taeyong hadn’t said anything in response because everything that Ten was saying to him was true. Unfortunately, Ten had taken that as him not caring about anything that he had to say and stood, picking up the lemonade he had been drinking and dumping it over Taeyong’s head before stomping off. Taeyong had gone back home all sticky and covered in lemonade, Jaehyun poking his head out from the kitchen to greet him, his face immediately falling when he realized the state Taeyong was in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no,” Jaehyun had said when Taeyong had told him what happened. “I’m sorry, Yong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong didn’t say anything which prompted Jaehyun to come over and pull him into a hug with those strong, comforting arms of his. It was nice. For a moment, Taeyong was able to imagine that Jaehyun really did love him in that way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They graduated again. Jaehyun announced that he would be moving out and getting a place with Elise, leaving Taeyong alone in that apartment. He didn’t mind it all that much. Jaehyun was really messy and with him not being there, Taeyong could finally live in peace without having to fear possibly stepping on a pair of Jaehyun’s dirty boxers on his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. However, he did miss not being able to listen in on all the times that Jaehyun had fucked Elise stupid thinking that he was either asleep, too busy studying with his headphones blaring like they often were or simply not there. Taeyong felt so disgusting each time that he did it but he couldn’t convince himself not to slip his hand underneath the waistband of his sweatpants, touching himself to the thought of him being the one that Jaehyun was ruining, the one that Jaehyun was calling beautiful and gorgeous and coaxing to an orgasm that would blow his fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>mind. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>About a month or two after he had moved out, Jaehyun was calling Taeyong and telling him that he had proposed to Elise and was planning on getting married not too long after. Taeyong had gone silent on the other end of the phone and Jaehyun had gotten clearly confused, asking if he was still there or not. When it became clear that Jaehyun was about to hang up, Taeyong breathed out a small congratulations and disconnected the line before Jaehyun could say anything else. That night, he had gone out to a local bar and gotten so drunk that he couldn’t see straight. He still didn’t know what happened that night but he was pretty sure that he threw up on the bartender, pissed himself and passed out in the bathroom. The bartender had been kind enough to use his phone to call the last person he had contacted which was Jaehyun who promptly came over and picked him up, cleaning him off in his bathtub and putting him off to bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Taeyong woke up the following morning with a headache so bad that he thought he might die and the taste of puke on his tongue, Jaehyun was asleep on the floor next to him, snoring lightly. He didn’t know what it was but something about the sight of him made Taeyong burst out into tears, sobbing so violently and so loudly that it didn’t take long before it was waking Jaehyun up. He sat up on the floor with a frown, squinting through the darkness of Taeyong’s room to see Taeyong laying on his bed curled up into a small ball, crying into his pillow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoa,” Jaehyun said, his voice gruff with sleep. He pushed himself up from the ground and sat down on Taeyong’s bed, rubbing over his trembling back with a comforting hand. “What’s wrong, Taeyong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Taeyong wanted to tell him so much. He wanted to tell him that he was in love with him and had been since that day he had first approached his table with that stupid fucking bag of McDonald’s and that stupid fucking smile of his that made everyone fall for him. He wanted to tell him that he hated himself for being so dumb and not being able to get over this crush of his even though there was no chance that Jaehyun would ever like him in the same way. He wanted to tell him that him getting married to Elise hurt so bad not only because he loved him, but also because it made him feel terrible about himself because he shouldn’t have been wailing about it, he should have been happy for Jaehyun and there to support him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Taeyong couldn’t say that. So he just sniffled and turned to Jaehyun, whining out pitifully that, “My head hurts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun laughed and shook his head, pulling Taeyong in for a hug. “You really shouldn’t drink,” Jaehyun told him and Taeyong forced himself to laugh along with him, inhaling his scent and letting Jaehyun comfort him for that small moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun checked in on him a lot after that. He also offered Taeyong the role as best man in his wedding but made sure to tell him that it was okay if he wasn’t up to it and that he wouldn’t be mad if Taeyong wanted to sit it out. Still, even as he said that, Taeyong could see the lingering hope in Jaehyun’s eyes that he wouldn’t turn him down, that his best friend would take part in the most important day of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And who was Taeyong to turn that down?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was there when Jaehyun picked out his suit. He was there when Jaehyun showed him the venue that he would be marrying Elise in. He was there when Jaehyun fussed over what their invitations should look like with Elise, sitting across from the both of them with their dog, Max in his lap. It was almost kind of funny how much Jaehyun was involved in the wedding. In basically every single way, Jaehyun was the perfect groom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>During the day of Jaehyun’s bachelor party, Jaehyun got stupid drunk like Taeyong knew he would. They ended up childishly playing a round of truth or dare, having to take a shot each time that they chickened out and picked dare. It wasn’t all that bad at first. Yuta, Dongyoung and Jungwoo clearly weren’t the most comfortable with an always quiet Taeyong so they didn’t ask ever ask him to do too much when it came to be his turn. But, as the night went on and started to become more and more drunk, they got daring—Yuta especially.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truth or dare, Taeyong?” Yuta slurred, slamming down his drink on the table in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dare,” Taeyong said back with a small shrug. The grin that curled over Yuta’s lips should have been enough of an indication that the next thing he was going to say was going to be something that he probably shouldn’t have been saying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dare you to kiss Jaehyun,” Yuta said and it was so childish and stupid that the whole group groaned in response to it but Taeyong felt his stomach fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>plummet </span>
  </em>
  <span>as he looked over to Jaehyun sitting there across from him, clearly shocked with Yuta’s request. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, that’s so stupid,” Dongyoung protested and Jungwoo nodded his assent. “Pick something else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” Yuta said with a shake of his head. “He either has to go or someone else can take his dare.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Dongyoung and Jungwoo looked disgusted with the idea, all for the idea that Yuta’s dare was stupid and that he should have picked something else but also not ready to do it for Taeyong. Jaehyun looked over at Taeyong and must notice his hesitancy because he was reaching over and punching at Yuta’s shoulder soon thereafter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be an asshole, Yu,” Jaehyun told him. “Leave him alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong didn’t know what overcame him. Maybe it was because of all the alcohol he had consumed that night or because he really, really wanted to kiss Jaehyun and had for awhile and this was the only acceptable place for him to do it. Maybe it was because he didn’t want Jaehyun’s friends to think that he was weaker than what they already very clearly perceived him as. Either way, Taeyong was pushing himself up from his seat and walking over to Jaehyun, thoroughly surprisingly him by sitting down in his lap and wrapping both his arms around his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung, Yuta and Jungwoo all whooped excitedly at the both of them. In that moment, Taeyong swore that the world around them fucking slowed. He couldn’t hear Jaehyun’s friend’s obnoxious laughter and shouting for them to kiss already. He couldn’t hear the music that pumped out from the speakers above his head or feel the bass that had been pounding out through them. All he could see was Jaehyun sitting there in front of him, so fucking drunk but so, so fucking pretty and perfect and that was all Taeyong needed before he was leaning in and pressing his lips to Jaehyun’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was perfect. It was so perfect that Taeyong could have cried. Jaehyun’s lips were soft and tasted like the strawberry lip balm that he always used. He didn’t stiffen up like Taeyong had feared he would when he went to kiss him, instead giving Taeyong as much as he was receiving, his hands slipping around Taeyong’s waist to pull him closer to him. Taeyong whined a little at the feeling of Jaehyun nipping at the corner of his mouth, hands slipping underneath the bottom of his loose button–up to feel at the soft skin of his stomach. He let him take control, let Jaehyun fucking devour him, licking into his mouth, feeling over his skin like he was his and no one else’s and never would be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then it was over. It was over because Jaehyun was hard underneath him suddenly and Taeyong could feel the length of him pressing into his ass and Jaehyun realized that, pulling away with a slick mouth and his face all red. He pushed Taeyong off of him as gently as he was able which wasn’t very gentle at all with how drunk he was. Taeyong fell onto the floor hard, hard enough where his sight went dizzy for a second, long enough for him not to notice that Jaehyun had gotten up and left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong looked over at Yuta, Dongyoung and Jungwoo who were all blinking back at him, unsure of what to say. It was Yuta who finally spoke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus,” Yuta said with a small cough. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think that you two liked each other or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Taeyong got up, picking up his phone from off the table it had been sitting on before making his way out of the noisy club. He walked home, filled with shame and mortification that he had done something like that. How the fuck was he ever going to face Jaehyun again? For Christ’s sake, the rehearsal dinner was tomorrow. How was he going to sit across from Elise with a smile on his face all while knowing exactly what he had done the night before? He was selfish. That was his problem. That had always been his problem.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he woke up the next morning with yet another blaring headache and a text or seven from Jaehyun. </span>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>From: Jae</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Hey, I’m sorry about last night</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>From: Jae</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I don’t know what got into me </span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>From: Jae</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Yuta was really fucking stupid for telling you to do that</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>From: Jae</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>I was drunk and went too far and I realize that and I’m sorry yong</span>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>From: Jae</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>Can you not tell Elise about what happened?</span>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>
  <span>Taeyong stared at the screen for a long moment, letting every single word Jaehyun had sent to him seep into his brain slowly. He stared until the bright screen made his eyes feel rougher and drier than they already did.</span>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>To: Jae</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <span>ok</span>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>
  <span>And that was the most they discussed about it. Taeyong went to the rehearsal dinner and Jaehyun spoke and laughed with him, teasing him relentlessly like he always did like nothing had ever happened. It made Taeyong feel terrible and borderline helpless but he knew that it was for the best. He didn’t want to risk ruining his relationship with Jaehyun </span>
  <span>and definitely didn’t want to ruin Jaehyun’s relationship with Elise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The big night came and to be completely honest, Taeyong couldn’t wait for it to be over. He slicked his hair back and put on his suit even though he couldn’t fucking stand being in suits because they were always too loose on him seeing that more often than not, he was too small for the suits that they carried in stores. Jaehyun had told him to go and get it tailored but Taeyong had never made the effort to, leaving him in a suit that was definitely too loose on his backside. He talked to Jaehyun’s mother at the beginning of the day and she asked if he was seeing anyone which Taeyong answered honestly, telling her that he was more focused on his career at the moment and would worry about finding that special someone later in his life. She had pouted at him and told him that the right girl would come along, reminding Taeyong that the older woman was undoubtedly still under the impression that he was straight. He didn’t have the heart to correct her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m nervous,” Jaehyun said when Taeyong slipped into his room in the hotel the wedding was being held at, looking at himself in the mirror.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun looked gorgeous. His hair was pushed off of his forehead and he had picked out this beautiful blue suit that complimented his pale skin perfectly. Taeyong had never been more in love with him than he was right then, watching Jaehyun panic about whether or not he was making the right decision and if he should slow down because everyone was telling him that he was too young and this and that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong did what a good best friend would and should have done. He turned Jaehyun away from the mirror to face him and told him to, “Stop being a fucking pussy and get out there and marry her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Jaehyun did. Taeyong knew that what he had done was noble and right and what he should have done but holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit </span>
  </em>
  <span>did it hurt to see Jaehyun put that ring on Elise’s slender finger and seal their commitment to one another with a kiss, the whole crowd cheering in response because everyone was so, so happy for them and they </span>
  <em>
    <span>deserved </span>
  </em>
  <span>this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the evening went by pretty uneventfully. One of Elise’s bridesmaids came over to him clearly drunk and out of her fucking mind, leaning down onto the table Taeyong was sitting at and suggesting for the two of them to get out of there. Taeyong blinked up at her and told her that unless she had a friend who was very much a dude, he wanted no part of it. It came out much ruder than he had intended and he would almost definitely be hearing about it sometime later when the girl went back to Elise and told her all about how much of an asshole he was but Taeyong couldn’t bring himself to care. It didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had tried. He really had. The day had started off well and Taeyong had been certain that he would be able to make it through without a problem but as he watched Jaehyun laugh and smile with Elise glued to his side, happier than he had ever seen him be before, Taeyong couldn’t help but feel like shit. It almost felt like the end of an era. This was it. There had been basically no chance of him ever having Jaehyun to himself before but this really solidified it for sure. Jaehyun and Elise were married. They were going to go on a honeymoon in France and buy a home together and have children and fight and make up and all the things that Taeyong had wanted ever since he was a teenager and never would have with that stupid fucking boy from his AP US History class who simply couldn’t get to class on time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Christ. Taeyong needed a fucking drink. Luckily, Elise had decided to get an open bar for the reception. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bar wasn’t very full. The event was mostly filled with all of Elise’s younger siblings and little cousins or Jaehyun’s very Catholic family who never really drank. Taeyong didn’t understand why Elise had decided to pay for the bar in the first place but couldn’t say that he didn’t appreciate it. He pulled himself up on one of the chairs, his legs swinging loosely underneath him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bartender had been tending to something that Taeyong couldn’t see, turning around upon hearing the chair scrape against the marble floor. Taeyong lifted a hand and gave him a small wave which was graciously turned as the man walked over to greet him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was tall guy. Taeyong was pretty short so often when he said that, it didn’t mean much but this dude was really, really tall. He had to be at least six feet. His hair was long and a soft brown and fell over either side of his face in neat pieces. He had on these round, wire glasses and a pressed white button–up caged by two brown suspenders. He looked really friendly, like one of those people who smiled at strangers in an attempt to make their day a little bit better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he said, smiling. “What can I get you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The strongest thing that you have here,” Taeyong answered immediately. He wasn’t planning on getting drunk out of his mind, just wanted to consume enough to where his emotions wouldn’t be so overwhelming to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bartender made a little face, looking over his shoulder for a moment. “I’m gonna be honest with you,” he started, turning back to Taeyong. “I was told that this was a family–friendly bar so we don’t really have any vodka or something like that if that’s what you’re looking for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong had to swallow down a groan. Of course Elise had made sure that nobody could go too out of control with the bar she had provided. He wasn’t at all surprised that she wanted it to be quote unquote “family–friendly”, seeing that it was basically her whole thing. That was a big part of the reason why Jaehyun loved her so much. He adored how family–oriented she was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you have then?” Taeyong questioned and the bartender took a quick moment to think about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” he said, tucking the rag he had in his grasp into the apron tied around his waist. “Red wine is the best I can do for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” Taeyong sighed, prompting the man to turn around and fix him a glass of the drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He came back around pretty quickly and placed the glass in front of Taeyong which Taeyong didn’t hesitate before picking up and downing everything that was inside of it. He had never particularly been a huge fan of wine, especially red, but after a night of what was practically torture to him, Taeyong needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>something. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The bartender watched him drink the entire thing, raising an amused eyebrow at him once he was finished. It made Taeyong blush a little. Somehow, he had completely forgotten that he wasn’t alone when he had drank down the glass so recklessly. They stared at each other for a moment before the silence got to be too much for Taeyong and he had to break it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I have another one?” he asked and the man nodded, taking the glass that Taeyong had held out for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hard night?” the bartender questioned as he poured more wine into Taeyong’s glass. Taeyong didn’t whether to be truthful or not at first. More often than not, when people asked something like that, they didn’t really want to hear the truth. It was more of a courtesy ask, something that showed that they cared enough to show concern but not enough to actually hear what was going down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But when the man turned back around and handed Taeyong his glass again, there was something akin to genuine worry written on his face. It was weird. It wasn’t like he knew Taeyong, wasn’t like they were going to ever see each other again outside of that night. Still, it was enough for Taeyong to nod, picking up his glass and taking another long swig.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Super hard night,” Taeyong admitted after he was finished swallowing, causing the man to frown a little, tilting his head somewhat to the right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna talk about it?” he asked and now Taeyong was really starting to get suspicious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to talk about a stranger’s problems with them? Nobody did. Hell, Taeyong wouldn’t even want to listen to himself. He scoffed a little, moving to take another sip of his drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t believe that you actually want to talk about that with me,” Taeyong said pretty bluntly, to which the bartender only smiled at. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a bartender,” the man pointed out, leaning forward on the counter that separated him from Taeyong. “It’s literally my job to listen to other people’s problems.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong stared at him for a long moment. He supposed that was true, seeing that he had worked as a bartender for a little over a week back in college and had to constantly deal with a bunch of drunk students ranting and raving to him about their issues either related to school, debt, their approaching future or most commonly, their relationships. He had quit because of that alone. He had never been one to listen to other people and give them solid advice on what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Plus, like he had noted before, it wasn’t like he was ever going to see this man again. At the end of the night, he was going to go home and this guy was going to get paid and that was that. Taeyong had never voiced what he had been struggling with for the past almost eight years out loud. In fact, he was pretty sure that not a single person in his life or anyone who happened to be passing through knew about it. (Other than Dongyoung, Yuta and Jungwoo who definitely had to have some kind of a clue after what happened at stag night.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck it. Why shouldn’t he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m in love with my best friend,” Taeyong blurted. “And I have been since junior year of high school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, Taeyong picked up his glass and finished off the rest of what was inside. The man watched him do so once again, his hand already outstretched to take the glass from Taeyong after he had pulled it away from his mouth. The words seemed to hang heavily in the air as more wine hit the bottom of the glass, somehow deafening over the music the DJ was pumping out not too far away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you told her that?” the man questioned once he was finished, handing the glass back over to Taeyong who accepted it graciously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Him,” Taeyong corrected, looking down at the wine that was inside of his cup. He wondered if he should even drink it. After all, his alcohol tolerance wasn’t really the best and he had already had two glasses. Then again, how strong could wine really be? He raised it to his mouth and took another sip, undoubtedly the shortest one he had taken since the moment he sat there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you told him that?” the bartender repeated, raising a brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have not,” Taeyong answered, his gaze finding the nametag that sat on the right of the bartender’s chest, right on top of a pocket. “Johnny?” he asked and the man glanced down, nodding once he realized what Taeyong was talking about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Johnny,” he said back, smiling a bit. Taeyong snorted a bit, putting his glass back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t really look like a Johnny,” he pointed out and the man</span>
  <span>—Johnny—chuckled quietly in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what’s your name?” Johnny questioned. Taeyong hesitated for a moment, wondering whether or not he should lie and say something else. He ultimately decided not to. He had already told this guy that he was in love with his best friend, why lie about something as silly as his name?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taeyong,” Taeyong said and Johnny hummed, pulling out his rag from his apron. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lift up,” he told Taeyong which Taeyong did, letting Johnny wipe up a bit of wine that had spilled from his glass and onto the countertop in front of him. “I’m gonna have to say that you don’t look all that much like a Taeyong either.”</span>
</p><p><span>“You would have said that no matter what </span> <span>I said my name was,” Taeyong countered dryly, sitting his wine back down once Johnny was finished. </span></p><p>
  <span>“You got me there,” Johnny admitted. If Taeyong hadn’t been so stuck on still feeling like shit, he would have laughed at that. Or at least chortled. Something. Johnny pushed his rag back into his apron and looked at Taeyong carefully for a moment before speaking again. “So, how come you haven’t told your friend about your feelings for him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because he’s straight,” Taeyong said with a shrug. “And he recently got married to his girlfriend of six years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for Johnny to make the connection. He looked at Taeyong in his suit with his hair all messy across his forehead, some pieces having escaped the hold of the gel he had used to keep it all pushed back. Then he looked behind Taeyong at all the people celebrating at the reception, either talking happily amongst one another or dancing to the music that was being played. Taeyong could pinpoint the exact moment that Johnny understood. It was almost kind of funny, the way that Johnny’s mouth dropped open in realization. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Recently like today?” Johnny asked and Taeyong picked up his glass, nodding as he swallowed. “Oh, shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Taeyong said. “Oh, shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because what do you say to that? That was why Taeyong had never made the effort to tell anyone about what he had been going through because there wasn’t really any advice to give in his situation. You can’t tell someone to simply get over another person because if it was that easy, Taeyong would have done that years ago. You can’t tell him to make a move and try to see if it would work out in the end because the person in question was married, and recently married too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’d you come?” Johnny questioned, causing Taeyong to look up at him, a bit confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Taeyong said back, somewhat confused with the question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To the wedding,” Johnny repeated. “Why did you come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a stupid question. Why wouldn’t Taeyong come? He was Jaehyun’s best friend. Jaehyun had wanted him there more than everyone else. No matter what he was feeling, he couldn’t simply not come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m his best friend,” Taeyong said, frowning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that,” Johnny said back. “But it’s almost like you’re putting him before yourself, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes you have to do that for the people you love,” Taeyong responded. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to Jaehyun for him to not come due to something that Jaehyun had absolutely no clue about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny hummed. Taeyong couldn’t tell if he had done that to show that he agreed with what he was saying or because he didn’t know what else to do. He picked up his glass of wine and downed the rest of it, unable to stop the small hiccup that followed afterward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I have another?” Taeyong muttered, handing the glass to Johnny who took it with an uncertain look on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t this gonna be your fourth?” Johnny questioned, taking the glass from Taeyong nonetheless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a really high tolerance level,” Taeyong lied. He didn’t. He actually had a really shitty tolerance level and always had. In fact, he was already starting to feel a bit dizzy. The problem was that he was still very much aware of what was going on around him and Taeyong didn’t want that anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny didn’t really seem like he believed him but still turned and filled his glass, handing it back over to Taeyong. “That’s your last one,” Johnny said. “I don’t want to be blamed for you throwing up on the bride later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think she set a limit on how many drinks you can get,” Taeyong countered, taking a sip from his cup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She didn’t,” Johnny confirmed, leaning on the counter once again. “I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong could understand that. If he did end up fucked up by the end of the night, the first person who would be blamed was Johnny. It was likely that he worked for some kind of company that got him booked here and the last thing Taeyong wanted was for him to get in trouble or even worse, fired. If push came to shove, there was a store not too far away from the hotel that he could go to and buy himself something much more effective and stronger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drank the rest of the wine slowly, wanting to savor it as much as possible. Fortunately, it felt like alcohol was starting to settle in. His face and body started to feel hot, prompting Taeyong to slip off his jacket and drop it into the chair next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your favorite thing about him?” Johnny asked suddenly and Taeyong hesitated for a moment, thinking about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His laugh,” Taeyong finally said. “He has a really nice laugh.” He stopped, holding a hand over his mouth as a small burp escaped. “And, like,” Taeyong continued. “His laugh is different with me than with anyone else. It’s dorkier. He snorts a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you funnier than most people?” Johnny questioned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Taeyong said honestly. “I’m not really funny at all. He’s just always thought that I was funny for some reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong’s head was starting to spin. Still, despite that, Taeyong picked up his glass and swallowed down the rest of it. That probably wasn’t the best idea but Taeyong couldn’t bring himself to care. He didn’t have work tomorrow or the next day which meant that he could spend that time nursing himself back to health.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t tried to be with anyone else?” Johnny said, picking up a glass and cleaning the rim with his rag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve only had one boyfriend my entire life,” Taeyong admitted, thinking back to Ten. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what was he like?” Johnny asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten was nice. Ten was funny. Ten was mean but in a way that Taeyong never had any trouble laughing at. Taeyong had liked Ten. Maybe if he wasn’t so infatuated with Jaehyun he would still be with him. Or maybe not, considering that Ten had always seemed like he was going to do bigger and better things than Taeyong ever had time for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was Thai,” Taeyong finally said with a small sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s it?” Johnny questioned, laughing at the simplicity of Taeyong’s answer. Taeyong thought about it for a moment before nodding, putting his head back down on the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And, like. Whoa. The alcohol was really starting to settle in. Taeyong could feel his head start to swim. Maybe swallowing down four whole glasses of wine within the span of fifteen minutes wasn’t the best idea Taeyong has ever had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really like myself,” Taeyong found himself saying after a moment, blinking up at Johnny who raised an eyebrow at him. He didn’t know why he had said it but it definitely had something to do with the fact that his filter basically disappeared when he was drunk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny hesitated for a moment. Taeyong could tell that he didn’t really know how to respond to that which he didn’t blame him for. He definitely wouldn’t know what to do or say if some drunk, random stranger admitted something like that to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you like yourself?” Johnny finally said, frowning a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t,” Taeyong responded with a shrug. “I never have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem like a lovely person,” Johnny told him which Taeyong didn’t know if he particularly believed. After all, wasn’t it kind of Johnny’s job to make the people that came to his bar feel good about themselves?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” Taeyong muttered. “I’m stupid and I’m short and I’m too much of an introvert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t be too much of an introvert if you’re talking to me,” Johnny pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m only talking to you right now because I’m drunk,” Taeyong slurred quietly. “If I wasn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny hummed and it went quiet between the two of them for a moment. Taeyong looked over his shoulder at the realization that the music had slowed. He saw Jaehyun and Elise dancing slowly in the middle of the beautiful ballroom, the lights dimmed around them. Elise had her face buried in Jaehyun’s shoulder and Jaehyun had his arms wrapped around Elise’s slim waist, holding her as close as possible to him. Taeyong watched them for a long moment, blinking hard to stop his vision from blurring as Elise and Jaehyun danced together lovingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Johnny’s voice called him back. “I know I don’t know you all that well but I really think that you should leave.” Johnny blinked over at Elise and Jaehyun before focusing back in on Taeyong whose face was getting redder by the second. “You did your part, yeah? Go home, get some sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was probably a good idea. Johnny was right, he had done his part. Jaehyun asked him to be there with him and he had. Jaehyun asked him to be in all the pictures and footage with him so that he could look back with him come years from now and smile at how young the both of them looked and Taeyong had. The night was almost over meaning that if Taeyong disappeared and went home, Jaehyun probably wouldn’t notice until it was too late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Taeyong didn’t want to be alone. That was the worst thing about it all. Ever since Jaehyun had moved out, he had been on his own. Most of the time, he could deal with it. Hell, he actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked </span>
  </em>
  <span>it and all the privacy that it gave him. Today, however, Taeyong simply couldn’t do it. Not after watching Jaehyun stare at Elise with so much adoration in that single gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t stay here?” Taeyong asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny stared at him for a moment before letting out a small, breathless laugh. He reached over and gave Taeyong a gentle tap on his head, ruffling his hair a little bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s what you want,” Johnny said, still smiling softly down at Taeyong. “Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” Taeyong slurred, yawning quietly. “D’you mind if I go to sleep for a second?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Johnny reassured him and Taeyong grinned, letting his eyes slip closed slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Johnny?” Taeyong muttered up at Johnny who hummed in response, eyes still closed. “You think I could get another glass after I wake up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause. For a moment, Taeyong was worried that Johnny might turn him down and force him to wake back up to the realization of what had happened the night before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, with a small sigh, Johnny said, “Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, Taeyong let himself fall off the ledge of unconsciousness.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Johnny’s boss had offered him a job. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He worked at a club downtown that was always especially crowded on the weekends. It had been the close of a busy Saturday night when his boss approached him, pointing over to the four men who had been approaching him all night for various drinks. The tall, pale one had been celebrating what would be one of his final nights as an unmarried man and at some point, had mentioned to Johnny’s manager that he still needed to find someone to work the bar for his wedding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, of course, the first thing Johnny’s boss had done was to basically force the gig on him by casually mentioning it but basically implying that Johnny had to take the job because it was going to be on his schedule come the following week. Johnny didn’t really mind it all that much, seeing that he had worked his fair share of weddings in the past and always walked out with a little more than he would usually make in a night of bartending at his usual club. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Plus, a job was a job. Johnny was halfway to thirty still pursuing a degree in sociology due to a particularly stupid decision to take some time off after graduating high school. To make a long story short, he needed the money more than anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wedding was lovely. Johnny was honestly impressed. It was clear that both the bride and the groom had a pretty hefty budget going into the big day. The place was decorated beautifully in a soft pastel blue that contrasted well with the crown molding of the walls, luxurious, glittery chandeliers that hung high on the ceiling and the shiny marble floors. Not too long before the ceremony, the bride approached him with her makeup only halfway finished, long, blonde hair a mess pinned up on the top of her head. She offered Johnny a bright smile, lifting a hand from where it had been holding up her dress to stop it from dragging across the floor to wave at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” she breathed, moving her hand back down to hold her dress up again. It looked pretty expensive so Johnny didn’t blame her for her fussiness over the thing. Still, he had never understood the hype in spending so much money on a single day. “Thank you for doing this so last minute. My fiancé had the idea of having an open bar but completely forgot about hiring someone to work it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like something I’d do,” Johnny chuckled even though it wasn’t anything he’d do in the slightest. If he was going to get married to someone, he would make sure that absolutely everything was in order. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She talked more to him about what she wanted him to serve and how she didn’t mind how many drinks people came and got because they didn’t want their guests to do anything but enjoy the event. Johnny nodded along slowly, only barely listening to what she was saying. He had been told all of this by his boss that morning before coming in and didn’t really need a refresher on the matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cocktail hour was his busiest. Despite already being served little drinks and finger foods on silver platters, plenty of people came up to him and asked for a drink or two or six. Johnny made light conversation with them, even the girl who definitely looked way too young for both him and to be anywhere near a bar that slipped him her number after Johnny had raised a brow at her and asked her how old she was when she tried to order a glass of wine for herself. It was nice. Chill. Johnny actually kind of preferred it over his normal job. (Though he was almost definitely saying that because of the raging migraine his last weekend shift had given him.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ceremony happened and Johnny was left by himself to scroll through his phone aimlessly. He passed the time by texting a girl that he had been talking to on and off for the past month and constantly refreshing his feed on Instagram. When it came time for the reception to start, people weren’t really all that interested in the bar which didn’t really bother Johnny all that much considering that he was going to be paid a pretty amount by the hour regardless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>came up. He was in this suit that looked good on him but was probably a size or two too big on his lithe frame. His hair had been previously slicked back but now had more and more messy pieces escaping from the hold of the gel and onto his forehead. He was noticeably attractive with a small, pink mouth and these huge brown eyes that kept being illuminated by the sunlight that shone in from the floor–to–ceiling windows not too far away from where the bar was. However, he looked sad. He offered Johnny a small smile after approaching which Johnny appreciated, especially with how much more pretty the simple gesture made him look, but there was still a fair amount of what looked like heartache that lingered in those gorgeous eyes of his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, like. Johnny definitely wasn’t crushing on the kid who he was fairly certain was the groom’s best man judging on how he had seen him interacting with the guests earlier on in the day. He would never do something like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guy’s name was Taeyong and apparently, he was desperately in love with his best friend who also happened to be the man who had gotten married not even three hours ago. Johnny couldn’t even begin to imagine what something like that was like. He had never really been quote unquote “in love” with another person. He had been in his fair share of relationships that never really ended all too well on his end but none of them ever transcended past the level of a mutual attraction. He also couldn’t fathom what it would be like to be in love with your very straight, very committed in another relationship best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t really know what to say to the kid but offered him as much as he was able solely due to how desperate and overall lonely Taeyong seemed. Johnny knew that it was probably against both of their self interests for him to go serving Taeyong glass after glass of wine, especially since Taeyong was particularly tiny and didn’t look like he could handle more than a sip of anything even </span>
  <em>
    <span>remotely </span>
  </em>
  <span>alcoholic but that was the only way that Johnny knew for certain that he was helping. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Taeyong fell asleep. Or, now that Johnny was thinking about it, Taeyong might have simply passed out due to how much alcohol he had consumed in such a short amount of time. Johnny waited awhile for him to wake back up, watching people get back up after the happy couple’s first dance and join them on the dancefloor, grooving merrily along to the beat of some corny song he didn’t recognize. As the night grew darker, Johnny started to become worried. He leaned over and nudged Taeyong, only for Taeyong not to respond at all. His heart dropped a little, slightly panicking over the possibility of Taeyong having died over something like alcohol poisoning or some shit but quickly recovered upon putting a finger underneath Taeyong’s nose and feeling the small, occasional puffs of air dust over his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, like. He wasn’t dead but he wasn’t exactly in the best state either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny considered calling his friend over and telling him about what was happening for a moment but quickly realized that it wouldn’t be good for either of them. The friend was trying to celebrate his big night and almost definitely didn’t have time to tend to his intoxicated, hopelessly in love best man and Taeyong probably didn’t want to have to interact with the guy more than he already had in that night. At one point, he left from behind the bar and patted down the front of Taeyong, only to find nothing. He reached over and felt over Taeyong’s jacket in the chair next to him until his fingers crazed over the familiar shape of a phone. Johnny pulled it out, only to quickly find out that it was locked. Nice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny decided to take Taeyong back to his house. The reception was almost over and he figured that anyone who hadn’t visited him at the bar already probably wouldn’t be visiting him in the hour and a half that was left. So, he picked up Taeyong’s jacket and pulled Taeyong out from his chair as discreetly as possible, only slightly (definitely) struggling with how limp and loose Taeyong’s unconscious body was. He made it all the way outside before realizing that Taeyong was an absolute stranger to him, meaning that he had absolutely no clue where he lived.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking Taeyong to his house probably wasn’t the best idea Johnny had ever had but fuck it. It was when he was manuerving Taeyong up onto his shoulders that Taeyong groaned quietly, letting Johnny know that he was slowly regaining his consciousness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You up yet?” Johnny grunted, reaching up to wrap Taeyong’s arms around his neck. Taeyong only moaned, dropping his head on the top of Johnny’s as hard as he possibly could, doing nothing for the headache that Johnny was still recovering from that had started to show face as the Ibuprofen he had taken started to wear off. “Right,” Johnny sighed, starting to walk. “You better be glad that you’re cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The walk to his apartment wasn’t far but definitely was hard, especially when it started to rain about halfway through. It was about that time that Johnny wondered why he was doing so much for this guy that he barely even knew but quickly decided against dumping him somewhere (yes, that was terrible but you would be considering that too if you were walking a half an hour in the pouring rain with at least a hundred pounds of dead weight against your back) upon realizing that his complex couldn’t have been more than five or so minutes away after spotting the familiar landmark of the laundromat he went to every Sunday morning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Johnny was inside, he dropped Taeyong down on the couch, straightening out his back and groaning at the way that it popped loudly with the simple motion. Taeyong made a small noise of discontent and rolled over, still completely gone from this world. Johnny sighed and walked into his bedroom, stripping the comforter from his bed and dragging it into the living–room where Taeyong was snoring softly, mouth slightly open, drool rolling down the side of his face and onto the couch underneath him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that, Johnny slipped out of his soaked clothes and hopped in the shower, wondering for a moment if he had just kickstarted some search for Taeyong with his sudden disappearance from the reception. He really didn’t want to have to wake up to the police banging on his door, demanding to know why he had kidnapped this guy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, Johnny’s exhaustion won over against his worry about possibly being jailed. He walked over to Taeyong again to hold his finger underneath his nose again before settling down into the recliner across from him, covering up with an old quilt that his mother had given to him the previous year for Christmas and managing to fall asleep within the span of a couple of minutes.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taeyong woke up in an unfamiliar place. Like, extremely unfamiliar. Like, from the moment he woke up, even with the headache that was pounding through his skull and the nausea that was currently overwhelming him, Taeyong easily recognized that he wasn’t anywhere that he probably should have been. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat up, groaning quietly at the loud pulse that shot through his skull. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the pain to subside a little before opening again. It took a moment for all the black dots that kept continuously shooting darting back and forth in front of him with each time that he blinked for his vision to clear back up. When it finally did, Taeyong couldn’t do anything but frown at the room he was in. It was the typical, single–guy apartment. The living–room was almost completely bare with only the couch he was in, a TV stand with a flatscreen perched high on top of it and an XBox hooked up right below it and a recliner opposite of that was</span>
  <span>—wait, was that a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>person </span>
  </em>
  <span>sitting there?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong’s first thought was that he had hooked up with someone at the wedding last night but he quickly pushed that aside upon realizing that if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>slept with this guy, he probably wouldn’t have woken up laid out on an old couch still dressed in his oddly</span>
  <span>–drenched suit from last night. Still, he had to have done something with this guy. Taeyong leaned in, taking a closer look at who was in the chair across from him, staring hard until he realized that this was the fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>bartender. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned, thinking about the last thing he could remember from the night before. He had walked up to the bar and drank</span>
  <span>—holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck, </span>
  </em>
  <span>had he drank—until eventually, he had spilled about Jaehyun to the guy who had been working while downing glass after glass of wine. The last thing Taeyong could remember was watching Jaehyun and Elise dance which only reminded him of the fact that Jaehyun had gotten fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>married </span>
  </em>
  <span>last night and, like. Holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck, </span>
  </em>
  <span>did that hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost as if on cue, the guy—Johnny? It was Johnny, right?—stirred a bit in his chair before sitting up, groaning quietly as he stretched his arms above his head, cracking one eye open as he did. Taeyong stared at him until Johnny turned his attention over to him, offering him a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re up,” Johnny said, settling back into his chair again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m up,” Taeyong parroted, cringing at how raspy and dry his voice had come out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was quiet between them for a moment. Taeyong didn’t know what to say. Clearly he had passed out and this guy had been kind enough to take him home and make sure that he didn’t get himself in some kind of irreversible trouble. Still, what was he supposed to say? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, thank you for not letting me get kidnapped and also for forcing you to listen to a very personal part of my very sad life, I’ll be on my way now? </span>
  </em>
  <span>This had to have been the most awkward situation Taeyong had ever been in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Johnny spoke up. “You want some cereal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’d rather have some dry clothes?” Taeyong said back because while that probably could have been overstepping the line, he figured that he couldn’t get any worse than he already was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, yeah,” Johnny nodded, rubbing at his eyes before pushing himself out of his chair. “I’ll, uh. I’ll be right back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny disappeared, leaving Taeyong alone by himself. He flopped down onto the couch, groaning loudly into the pillow he had been sleeping on. This was his lowest. He knew that he used to fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>masturbate </span>
  </em>
  <span>to the sound of his best friend fucking his girlfriend who was now his wife, but this had to be even worse than that. Waking up in the apartment of the bartender he had drunkenly rambled to the night before? That was fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>humiliating. This </span>
  </em>
  <span>was the bottom that Taeyong was at. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny came back into the room with a loose brown hoodie and a pair of grey sweatpants, handing it over to Taeyong who graciously accepted it with a quiet mumble. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, wow,” Johnny said, quickly turning around as Taeyong stood up and began to strip himself of the damp suit he had on. Again, Taeyong had only done it because he figured that it couldn’t get any worse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dressed pretty easily, gathering up his wet clothes in his arms as he sat back down on the couch, brushing some of his gel</span>
  <span>–hardened hair out of his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m dressed now,” Taeyong muttered and Johnny turned back around, his gaze lingering at how drowned in his clothes Taeyong looked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It went quiet again. Taeyong cleared his throat quietly, looking down at the floor. He really didn’t know what to say. Fortunately, he didn’t have to think too long about it, as Johnny was suddenly standing up and walking off into the kitchen. Taeyong turned around on the couch, watching as Johnny opened up the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk and a case of eggs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Taeyong finally asked as Johnny grabbed out some blueberries before closing the fridge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Making you my famous hangover pancakes,” Johnny answered, walking over to the cabinet and taking out some flour and something else that Taeyong couldn’t see from where he was sitting. He hesitated a moment, tilting his head a bit to the right. “Well, technically, they’re not famous,” Johnny admitted. “I actually don’t think that anyone but me has had them but I think they’re pretty good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong didn’t get it. Like, he genuinely didn’t get it. Why wasn’t this guy kicking him out? Hadn’t he done enough by taking him home instead of leaving him there at that bar </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>letting him, a random fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>stranger, </span>
  </em>
  <span>borrow a couple of articles of his clothing? It wasn’t like Taeyong was the kind of guy who had this bleak outlook on the world and of people but was still pretty realistic and knew that most people wouldn’t go through these lengths for something that they didn’t know. Hell, if he was in this situation, he definitely wouldn’t have done anything that Johnny had. Maybe they were two different people. He didn’t know. He didn’t really think that he cared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know that you don’t know me, right?” Taeyong pointed out. Johnny looked over at him while he grabbed out a bowl, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do know you,” Johnny simply said before turning his attention back to the container of flour in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was annoying. How could Johnny claim to know him? He didn’t know anything about Johnny other than the fact that his name was Johnny and that he worked as a bartender, which he didn’t even know if it was Johnny’s main line of a work or simply a side gig. The point was that the two of them didn’t know each other which was the cause of Taeyong’s main suspicion and also just the fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>truth. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know nothing about me, dude,” Taeyong said as Johnny cracked an egg. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that your name is Taeyong,” Johnny quickly countered. “And that you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend who just got married to an </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely </span>
  </em>
  <span>pretty girl last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nice. Taeyong knew that he had technically done this to himself by telling this guy way too much about what he was going through and had been going through for a ridiculously long time but still. He couldn’t have said that a little less bluntly?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Taeyong mumbled, pushing himself up from the couch. “I think I’m gonna go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny stopped and looked at him, seeming almost hurt by what Taeyong had said. If Taeyong’s brain didn’t currently feel like it was going to pulse right out of his skull and turn to goo, he would have felt a bit bad about being the cause of that look on Johnny’s dumb, attractive face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Johnny asked which caused Taeyong to frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re asking me why I don’t want to stay at the apartment of some dude who I barely know?” Taeyong responded which resulted in Johnny faltering somewhat because he couldn’t really deny the point that Taeyong had in saying that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” Johnny admitted, pushing the spoon that he had been using the mix what all he had poured into the bowl in front of him into his mouth. “Can I ask you a favor then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Taeyong said quickly, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I remind you that I carried your unconscious body a half an hour in the rain on my back that very much hurts right now?” Johnny said with a small grin and, like. Well, that made a small pang of guilt strike Taeyong directly in his chest. He really needed to stop getting blackout drunk. It never seemed to end good for anyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, it was enough to get Taeyong to budge a little. At the end of the day, if what Johnny said turned out to be something ridiculously, he could say no. He had enough faith that this guy wasn’t some rabid psycho killer that would immediately smack him in the back of the head with a frying pan the moment he tried to leave.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Taeyong finally sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just poured enough batter for, like, twelve pancakes into this bowl and I’m not really in a good enough financial situation to waste food like that,” Johnny explained, pulling the spoon out of his mouth and dipping it back into the bowl which definitely wasn’t disgusting and didn’t completely turn Taeyong off from wanting to eat anything Johnny had to do with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just licked that spoon and then put it back in the bowl,” Taeyong pointed out dryly with a small scoff. “I’m sorry about your financial situation but I’m not eating that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny looked down at the spoon in the bowl and pouted a bit which definitely wasn’t cute, not even in the slightest. “Okay, you got me there,” Johnny sighed. He looked back up, pointing at the top of his refrigerator. Taeyong followed the direction of Johnny’s finger, still completely unimpressed. “I still have cereal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And at this point, Taeyong was starting to get irritated. He didn’t know what was up with this dude nor why he cared so much about having breakfast with him but he didn’t like it. It made him feel like some sort of charity case which, despite how sad he might have both looked and sounded, Taeyong definitely wasn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, man, if you’re doing this because you feel bad for me, you can cut it out,” Taeyong said. “I mean, thank you for everything but</span>
  <span>—and I mean this in the nicest way possible considering all that you did for me—fuck off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that, Taeyong started to make his way over to the door to leave. Unfortunately for him, Johnny was, like, seven feet tall which meant that he had these crazy long legs that were able to carry him from his spot in the kitchen to in front of Taeyong in a matter of a single second. In that moment, Taeyong wondered if he had been wrong about Johnny being a rabid psycho killer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna kill me?” Taeyong blurted, looking up at Johnny. “Because if you kill me I hope you know that there’s probably, like, heaps of evidence against you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Johnny said, making a face which kind of annoyed Taeyong because did he seriously not understand how strongly he had come across by stepping in front of him like that. “No, I’m just—Listen, can you just please have breakfast with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Taeyong snapped, beyond frustrated with the whole thing. All he wanted to do was go home and lay down until he had to get up in the morning for work on Tuesday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m lonely and you’re lonely too,” Johnny said, immediately prompting Taeyong to open his mouth to protest. “And before you say that you aren’t, remember that you literally told me your whole life’s story last night and the one thing I know as a bartender is that what people say when they’re drunk is the truth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong couldn’t say anything to that. He looked away from Johnny’s face, filling up with even more embarrassment than he thought was even possible at the realization that he had admitted to an absolute </span>
  <em>
    <span>stranger </span>
  </em>
  <span>that he was sad, pathetic and lonely. He was pretty sure that all of this couldn’t get any worse. If it did, Taeyong could definitely see himself dying of humiliation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just have breakfast with me, yeah? And then after, if you wanna go, you can go,” Johnny finished with a small smile. “I’ll even let you keep my favorite hoodie.” He pointed down at the hoodie Taeyong had on, pulling at it gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And everything in Taeyong was telling him that no, he definitely shouldn’t do this and that he should go home. What was the point him in sharing a meal with a complete stranger? As a matter of fact, he was pretty sure that this had to be the plot of some cheesy horror film out there wherein the protagonist falls for the killer’s charm and wakes up in some dusty, filth</span>
  <span>–basement about 800 miles from where he had lost consciousness at tied up to a pole or something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, there was also something telling him to stay. It was probably the leftover alcohol in his system telling him to do the exact opposite of what his gut was saying but after the particularly shitty night Taeyong had last night, he couldn’t really think of a coherent enough reason </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to stay there with this guy. Plus, Johnny was right. He was fucking lonely and going back to his apartment only promised him more loneliness that Taeyong </span>
  <span>didn’t know whether or not he could handle right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, after what had to be a minute of tense silence, Taeyong finally said, “Fine. But you have to make another batch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Johnny responded, frowning. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you shoved that entire fucking spoon in your mouth and then put it back in the bowl, dude,” Taeyong groaned in disgust. “That’s gross.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like I’m contagious or anything,” Johnny defended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Either you make a new batch or I’m leaving,” Taeyong threatened, to which Johnny promptly put his hands up and said, “Fine, fine,” before Taeyong could push past him to walk out the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny turned out to be really funny. Like, really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>funny. And he made Taeyong laugh. He had a slight lisp that Taeyong hadn’t noticed before and was a bit too clumsy for his own good. His pancakes turned out to be terrible and burnt but tasted somewhat better after being drowned in butter and syrup. Taeyong ate them only because he was hungry and while they did absolutely nothing to help with his blaring headache, he could appreciate all that Johnny had gone through to make them for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talked. About Taeyong and what he did for a living. About Johnny and how he had moved there from Chicago and was really starting to regret it with how expensive everything was in that area. Taeyong listened to him, pulling the hood of Johnny’s sweatshirt over his head, humming along to everything that Johnny said with a slight smile on his face because while stupid and clumsy and an oversharer, Johnny was charming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And for the first time since that fateful day in his 11th year in school, Taeyong didn’t think about Jaehyun. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a href="https://www.twitter.com/tunameIts">Twitter</a> and <a href="https://www.curiouscat.me/allforyong">Curious Cat</a> if you want to interact with me or send me nice things or comments. Thank you all so much for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>